Euro 2012 begins on Friday. And for those that have made the trip to Krakow, Poland strictly to enjoy the matches, they’ll surely have a wonderful time doing just that. But for those that have made the trip just to cause ruckus in and outside the stadiums, a not so wonderful time awaits them. Because Polish anti-hooligan squads are readying themselves to handle any trouble makers during Euro 2102.
And how are they readying themselves, you ask?
Well, by arming themselves with high-tech sonic cannons that can induce urinating on yourself and testicle-biting dogs.
The English-language Krakow Post newspaper asserted in an editorial that local law enforcement agencies were more than ready to tackle any hooligan threat at England’s southern Poland base camp.
“The Polish police are going to come down on troublemakers like a bag full of anvils and you don’t want to be there when it happens,” the paper warned.
“Krakow has a long history of hooligan violence — the local police have seen it all before and they will ruin your day if you try it on.
“These lads’ mums and dads rioted under Soviet machine guns — a few chairs thrown by beered-up fans is not going to intimidate them.
“Do not expect softly, softly police tactics.
“Poland’s anti-hooligan squads are armed with: Shotguns firing baton rounds that probably won’t kill you as long as you’re 30m away, a truck-mounted water cannon affectionately known as ‘the typhoon’, a high-tech sonic cannon that can make you wet yourself on its lowest setting, dogs trained to bite you directly in the testicles.”
We’re all for cracking down on the hooligans. But do you really have to bring out the testicle-biting dogs? That just doesn’t feel right.