In Case You’re Wondering, Arizona Diamonbacks Bullpen Catcher Jeff Motuzas Will Eat Anything (Except Poop And Urine)

Jeff Motuzas

Before you get your panties in a bunch about how “this isn’t news”, you’re right, it isn’t.

Feel better now?


Well, what if I told you that the Wall Street Journal thinks that Jeff Motuzas’ penchant for eating anything is story worth telling?

Still not moved?

Well, you just can’t be pleased can you? So in that case, I’ll proceed with this piece of news that really isn’t news.

When Bryan Price joined the Arizona Diamondbacks as their pitching coach in 2006, he started hearing rumors about Jeff Motuzas, the team’s longtime bullpen catcher. But the Legend of Motuzas remained largely a mystery to Price until one fateful afternoon at spring training.

“Someone pulled something out of their nose and he ate it for $400,” Price said.

Ok. Hang on in there guys. It’s gonna get a tad bit nasty.

In 1998, not long after Motuzas’s minor-league playing career came to a close, the Diamondbacks hired him as their bullpen catcher. He soon had a revelation about the big leagues. “These guys have money,” Motuzas said. “They’d be like, ‘Hey, how about I pay you to eat this, drink this or let me whip you with that? I’ll give you $400.’ And I’m like, ‘Okay!'”

A recitation of Motuzas’s money-making exploits should come with a disclaimer: Kids, don’t try this at home. He has snorted wasabi and eaten horseradish by the bowlful. He has devoured a dozen donuts and guzzled 13 bottles of water. And this is the PG-rated version. “Tooz will eat anything except poop, urine and vomit,” Diamondbacks reliever Sam Demel said. “No, wait—I’m sorry. He will eat vomit.”

Demel cited the memorable day when a former teammate regurgitated some yogurt and slathered it on a potato chip for Motuzas. Demel also said he once saw Motuzas ingest a concoction of chewing tobacco dip spit and 3-day-old chili.

Ok, I think we’ve all had enough.

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