I Guess We Should Attempt To Narrow Down Which Miami Heat Players Cried Yesterday

By now, you’ve all heard or read about Erik Spoelstra outing some of his players for crying after yesterday’s loss to the Bulls. But he stopped short of actually spilling the beans about who those players actually are. So, we feel it’s our job to help narrow things down so you can sound really intelligent when you and you’re friends embark on the inevitable, “Who’s the biggest crybaby on the Miami Heat” discussion.

You’re welcome.

Joel Anthony 

The dude is just happy to be on the roster. Add in that he actually gets a little burn, aint no tears flowing from his eyes.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Mike Bibby 

Another dude that just happy to be in the number. Besides, he’s lost so many big games in his career that these little losses aint nothing.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Chris Bosh 

Of course he cried.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 1,000,000%

Mario Chalmers 

Kinda hard to gauge this one. He’s been a winner before, so it could really hurt him to lose. But he doesn’t really strike me as a bag of water.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 20%

Erick Dampier 

After years of getting dunked on disrespected, a little loss to the Bulls aint breaking this man
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Udonis Haslem 

He’s hurt. One would hope that a grown man wouldn’t start crying just because other grown men are crying.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Eddie House 

Just do see him crying about this loss. It’s more likely that he ran around the locker room doing the “Big Ball Dance” after successfully throwing his jersey into the laundry cart.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Juwan Howard 

This man has successfully made another NBA roster in his 200th year in the league. If he shed any tears, they would tears of joy.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Zydrunas Ilgauskas 

Big Z doesn’t smile. Big Z doesn’t frown. Big Z’s expression never changes. So it would be pretty hard for Big Z to cry.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Dwyane Wade

Dwyane Wade definitely cried yesterday. He’s an emotional player and he wants to win in the worst way
Probability that he cried yesterday: 100%

LeBron James 

I don’t think he was planning on crying, but once he saw Wade crying, he did so too. Mainly because he figured that if Wade is doing it, he probably should too.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 100%

James Jones 

He’s getting burn on a pretty good team and he won the 3-point title this year. He’s on cloud nine right now.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

Jamaal Magloire

It’s more likely that he fought Pat Riley yesterday than it is that he cried yesterday.
Probability that he cried yesterday: -100%

Mike Miller

I can definitely see him shedding a tear or two. He probably should have after the game he had.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 50%

Dexter Pittman

He doesn’t even play. He better not have cried.
Probability that he cried yesterday: 0%

So there you have it. Now go get your discussion on.

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