Before we get into the Daily Mail’s claims that Tiger is “staring at Katherine Jenkins’s bottom as she performed at the opening ceremony of the Ryder Cup”, I would just like to go on record and say that if he is staring at what we think he’s staring at, he should be. Cut the man some slack. The man had to attend this d@#$ tournament without a female escort, so his eyes are set on wandering mode. And besides, what we really should be discussing here is what is on Tiger’s mind as he gazes into her backside.
We all know Tiger is a conflicted man right now. I’m sure part of him wanted to rip her clothes off right then and there. And the other part of him wants to be a good boy. So since we’ll never know exactly what he was thinking, I’ll attempt to get us close.
Bad Tiger: Forget that voice. You see that #$%?
Good Tiger: No, I do not. You shouldn’t either.
Bad Tiger: How couldn’t I? You think she’s wearing a thong or boyshorts?
Good Tiger: I don’t know and I don’t care. Get a hold of yourself!
Bad Tiger: What color do you think they are? I’ll go with black. I hope they’re black.
Good Tiger: Good God man!
Bad Tiger: I just wanna reach out and grab that thing.
Good Tiger: You do know people can see you, right?
Bad Tiger: Don’t worry. It’s not like I will be pictured staring.