If someone told you that Tom Brady could one day fall out of favor in New England, you would instantly tell them they’re crazy. And frankly, every person with at least half a brain would also think the same thing. Unfortunately, it only takes one Jessica Isner of NESN, during a slow period for sports news, to drum up such an idea. And what could one actually come up with for a basis of such a ridiculous idea?
That Tom Brady may be too Hollywood for the Patriots.
Not his play on the field. Not injuries. But Hollywood.
This should be fun.
New England fell in love with Brady primarily because he delivered three Super Bowls in four years. That’s reason enough to love any athlete in a sports town like this one. But back then — when he was just some goofy kid who drove a bright yellow Jeep Wrangler and, as a result, got ragged on mercilessly by Ty Law – there was so much more to love, too.
Step 1: Get yourself a yellow Jeep Wrangler. And keep it. No matter how much money you make.
Almost 10 years later, that perennial underdog is virtually unrecognizable. Brady won three rings and two Super Bowl MVPs, he embarked on some embarrassing Hollywood dalliances (Tara Reid) and some not-so-embarrassing dalliances (Bridget Moynahan) before deciding to settle down with the one person in the world who gets paid more to pose in swimwear than he does.
Step 2: Get yourself a poor, non-attractive woman to settle down with. There’s no way you can fall out of favor with that on your arm.
Now, Brady’s rags-to-riches tale has reached a new level of riches. He has officially gone Hollywood, and in the aftermath, Patriots Nation — whether it likes to admit it or not — has struggled with one question: Has Brady’s new lifestyle impeded his on-the-field performance?
Step 3: Don’t actually try to enjoy yourself in YOUR spare time. Because no one likes a man that enjoys himself.
Ok, there’s your three step plan. Now, onto the fun.
Because of his Super Bowls, Brady is allowed to get away with things no other quarterback could, especially in New England. He’s allowed to pose with goats in GQ, carry a “satchel” (or a man-purse), wear Yankees paraphernalia and possibly allow a bodyguard to fire gunshots at paparazzi who attempt to photograph his super-secret wedding to the world’s most successful supermodel. When you win, you earn the right to do whatever you want.
But Brady hasn’t won in a while. At what point does that begin to be a problem?
When does that begin to be a problem? Um, try NEVER.
Here’s a better question? How many Super Bowls have the Patriots won without Tom Brady? Oh that’s funny, I believe the answer to that is ZERO.
How about an even better follow up question? How many Super Bowls can the Patriots presently win without Tom Brady? Oh that’s funny, I believe the answer to that is also ZERO.
But enough of the fun, I’ll let Jessica have the last word.
New England will always love Tom Brady. He’s a model citizen to other NFL quarterbacks, he’s proven that he’s absolutely unwavering under pressure, and when you win as much as he has, you earn the right to wear stupid hats on magazine covers every once in a while. Plus, Brady, just like every other celebrity, deserves privacy and a family and a life off the gridiron.
But there was once a time where Brady would be the first person to arrive at OTAs and the last to leave. There was a time where nothing mattered as much as football. He’s older now; perhaps the priority shift is a natural human progression.
It would still be nice, however, to put all those unpleasant questions to rest for good — the ones that no one wants to ask — by winning it all again soon.
Maybe I shouldn’t have let her have the last word.
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