Randy Johnson’s Road To 300, Every Mullet And Mustache Along The Way

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It wasn’t the best crowd or the best weather, but Randy Johnson won his 300th game yesterday in the Giants’ 5-1 victory over the Nationals. Certainly a feat that deserves to be celebrated, seeing as though only 23 pitchers have been able to pull this off. So how will we celebrate it? I’m glad you asked.

While some will take you back to the Big Unit’s first win in Seattle, we will celebrate the most important aspect of this accomplishment. The Mullet and The Mustache. Hey, if we took the time to chronicle the evolution of Cheryl Miller’s hair, the least we can do is pay homage to 300 wins worth of the mullet and the mustache.

Montreal Expos – 3 wins
The year is 1989 and here is a baby faced Randy Johnson when he played for the Montreal Expos. Yes, I consider this to be a baby face. The stache’ is there, but without the full grown mullet, the Big Unit is not quite a man at this point.


Seattle Mariners – 130 wins
After being traded to the Mariners, Johnson becomes the man known as the “Big Unit”. With the longest mullet known to man, a mustache that put all others to shame, and a bottom lip perfectly stuffed with “chewbacca”, this was Randy Johnson at his best.

Houston Astros – 10 wins
Then comes a short stint with the Astros. Now 34, Johnson dials the mullet back a little. So of course, that means that the stache’ gets thicker. Evolution at work, baby.

Arizona Diamondbacks – 103 wins
Here’s Johnson being introduced as an Arizona Diamondback. And here’s Johnson’s “business in the front, business in the back” curly mullet. Who says mullets aren’t versatile?

New York Yankees – 34 wins
Now 41, Johnson signs to play for the evil empire Yankees. Which means that he has to tame the stache’ and the mullet has to go into hiding. Randy Johnson minus the stache’ and a mullet is not really Randy Johnson. Therefore, those two years never happened to me.

Arizona Diamondbacks – 15 wins
Now back with the Diamondbacks, the Unit quickly grows the stache’ back, but continues the conservative trend with his hair. At age 43, I guess it may be time to go conservative. And I can deal with this much better since the stache’ is back going strong.

San Francisco Giants – 5 wins
By win #300, Johnson has conquered every feat that can be done with a mullet and mustache. From the wild days as a Mariner to the conservative Yankees days, Randy Johnson gets his 300th victory sporting a stache’ and mullet somewhere in between.

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Comments

  1. Ethan Jaynes says:

    It was amazing that all 300 of his wins were ugly.

  2. megatron says:

    FYI: Yanks dont have any rules against rocking a mustache. Remember Don Mattingly?

  3. Maybe they didn't have a rule when Mattingly played, but they did when Johnson played for them. They just got rid of it last year, which is when Giambi brought back his mustache.

  4. Rick Brown says:

    The apostrophe associated with the shortened form of "moustache" is used to let the reader know that letters have been omitted.

    As such, "'stache" is the proper way to write the word.

    Nice post.

    RB

  5. I believe the Yankee rules regarding facial hair is that it has to be neat, and players are not allowed to have any hair under their lips. Knowing Steinbrenner, Yankee grooming regulations are probably based on military grooming regulations.

    Before Giambi had his mustache, I remember Gabe White had one, as did Tom Gordon and Gary Sheffield, Jeff Nelson, Wade Boggs, and Cecil Fielder. I'm pretty sure Ruben Sierra had one his first tour in pinstripes too.

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